Archive for the ‘Hypocracy’ Tag

She’s a vegetarian poser

As of this day I no longer recognize Six as a vegetarian.

If anything, she is a junk-food-etarian.

How can you be a vegetarian if you don’t eat vegetables?

What do you call someone who’s main food groups are Sugar, Starch, Caffeine, and Chemical Additives?

Sorry Six, you posed as a vegetarian to disguise your bad eating habits.

Not good…not acceptable…not family!

Different worlds

Dinner conversation.

Two sisters…worlds apart…countries apart too.

One is excited about scoring a reservation at a restaurant without a menu…where the waiting list is more exclusive than her son’s preschool…where the tab is $250 per person.

The other, excited about her new daughter, just five weeks old, requiring a commitment that may last the rest of her life.

Pretty exclusive I’d say.

Scoring the reservation was the best thing that happened to her that day.

The best thing that happened to me the same day was bringing home number twelve…oh yeah…a bonus…sharing my recipe for peach salsa with Number Two.

We live in different worlds and I wouldn’t switch if I could eat that 15 course meal every day!

Is “nane” the opposite of inane?

Definitely not!

However, Six thinks it is.

In mid-inane conversation this morning I called “time out” because we were having an inane conversation. I would relay the details here but that would be an inane violation.

Anyway, Six declared that our conversation was, in fact, ‘nane”!

This is just a small snapshot of my life in the asylum. Most conversations with Six are inane.

So, for future reference, “nane” is not the opposite of inane.

According to the “Free Online Dictionary” the definition of inane is:

From the Latin word inanis…”Senseless, unimaginative, or empty; unintelligent.

The thesaurus lists asinine, fatuous, vacuous, mindless, and foolish…”devoid of good sense or judgment.

The opposite of inane would be: intelligent, poignant, relevant, meaningful, vital, or challenging.

Then again if we were going to make an opposite of the word inane it might be “ane” but that’s a Scottish word meaning “one thing”.

Come to think of it…this whole post is inane…a New Year’s Resolution Violation…therefore I must log off.

Good Bye.

Rejected

I feel so dirty…unworthy…rejected.

We hoped to adopt a new puppy but were turned down by an animal shelter.

Our family pet is ten years old.

She is at least 20 pounds overweight.

She may have arthritis and possibly a thyroid problem.

That’s our fault?

Moreover, a key condition of the adoption was our dog’s acceptance of the new puppy.

So a “get-to-know-each-other” visitation was scheduled.

We took our pet to the vet, to be sure she was up on her shots etc.

We had satisfied the state, county and our village but the humane society has stricter standards.

We took her to the beauty salon for a shampoo and pedicure.

We squeezed her into the car for a 30 minute drive to the visit.

We waited 30 minutes amid countless barking dogs and screeching cats.

Three or four brutes tried to attack our baby.

By the time we had our inaugural visit our gentle family pet was thoroughly traumatized.

We were placed in a small room and instructed not to speak to or touch our dog.

In bounced the puppy.

Our pet for a decade didn’t even sniff her.

Trembling, she looked at us with liquid brown eyes that screamed, “get me out of here!”

That’s when the handlers (humane society nazis), “tweedle dee and tweedle dumb” started in.

Shaking their heads like a physician reading the chart of a stage 4 cancer patient they both said, “it doesn’t look like its working.”

Duh!!!

Now these people are not the kind of people we would normally hang with. None of my friends have hair dyed pink, multiple piercings or so many tattoos that they look like clothing.

I don’t know how they could cluck so loud with a tongue piercing.

On top of this they berated me for not taking better care of our loving pet.

Why wasn’t she on analgesics for her arthritis?

What kind of dog food do you feed her?

You vet says you haven’t ever purchased heartworm medicine.

Can you believe they called our vet to check up on us?!!!

This was more like an interrogation in a concentration camp for both of us.

Se we left with our heads down and our tails between our legs.

Rejected and dejected.

Ahhhh…there is a happy ending.

What a difference it makes to come home to reality and normal people.

You don’t have to go far to find a support group of other folks who have been abused by those dedicated to prevent animal abuse…people void of excessive tattoos and piercings, I might add.

We’re not alone.

I have shared my story and when I finished we all chanted, “they’re only dogs!”

I am a good dog parent.

I do deserve to adopt a puppy.

After all, if you can adopt a human, a puppy should be a piece of cake (or at least a dog yummy).

This isn’t the end of the story…

Confessions of a McDonald’s Playland snob

Forgive me father for I have sinned.

I am a McDonald’s Playland snob.

I spend a couple of hours with Three, Ten, and Eleven at a nearby McDonald’s Playland yesterday.

Playland was bustling.

I had planned to do some reading but I couldn’t help reading my fellow patrons instead.

I think some mothers actually spend several hours there every day.

They knew each other. They were there when we came and there when we left.

I commented to one mom that “we were escaping” to which she replied, “I’ll be here til my other two get out of school.”

Yikes!

The marketer in me brainstormed that it would be a great selling point to have a gallon jug of hand sanitizer by the entrance/exit but then, I figured if these people came here day-in and day-out without it, why cut into the profits.

Then I thought what a great idea it would be to send an employee…or a midget…through the tunnels every four hours with a can of Lysol spray and a roll of paper towels and post a sign”Tunnels Sanatized Every 4 Hours” but, again, it would be like casting pearls before swine. so forget it.

While Ten and Eleven were taking a break a rather dirty little gremlin came up to our table mumbling some unintelligible words. The girls looked down their noses at him like he had stepped in dog poop. Finally his mother came over and said, “He’s apologizing for calling her (Ten) a poopie-head.”

We thanked both of them and turned back to our chicken nuggets.

Well, I see McDonald’s Playland as a necessary evil for parents with kids, like a hospital waiting room. Only they have hand sanitizer and face masks freely available at the hospital.

The Church at Laodicea

Ever heard of this church?

It’s mentioned in the bible in Revelation 3:14-21.

This is the part where Jesus talks straight with the seven churches. These were real churches but they also represent modern-day churches that have drifted from their first love.

In this passage Jesus says, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.”

Hmmmmm.

I wonder how one would translate neither hot nor cold?

Would that mean like talking about love, mercy, and compassion but not really showing it when you get right down to it?

When he says, “You say, ‘I am rich’” is that like saying our goal is to  be a city on a hill instead of saying our goal is to  serve others with love, mercy, and compassion?

Hmmmmm.

Forgiveness is the attitude of the strong

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attitude of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi

That really lays it on the line for me.

I cannot let this topic go. Probably because Christians not forgiving causes a short circuit in the way we are wired by God.

Many thought leaders have thought quite a bit about forgiveness…I like what they have to say.

“He, who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love.” Martin Luther King Jr.

“Without forgiveness, there’s no future.” Desmond Tutu

“Forgiveness is the oil of relationships.” Josh McDowell

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Corrie Ten Boom

So, is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state governed by some gut-feeling repent-o-meter?

It must be a conscious choice motivated by obedience to God and His command to forgive.

Can it be any clearer…Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13

God doesn’t say forgive only if the apology meets your personal criteria of being worthy for forgiveness.

But what if we don’t feel like forgiving?

We must forgive by faith…out of obedience. Forgiving goes against our sin nature. I think God calls us to forgive whether we like it or not. But when the one you should forgive has confessed her sins and begged your forgiveness – watch out for lightening bolts if you still can’t forgive!

Doesn’t God honor our commitment to forgive, even when we don’t feel like it, because we are obedient? I believe we must forgive by faith until God completes the work in our hearts.

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

Like Corrie Ten Boom (Christian woman who was a Nazi concentration camp survivor) said, “Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you.”

What else?

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18:2122

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Luke 6:37

Why Forgive?

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-16

It will hurt your prayer life.

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. Mark 11:25

Forgiveness is the attitude of those who are obedient and strong in Christ. It will set you free.

We are free.

I’m pretty sure only God has a repent-o-meter

I’ve had about 36 hours to ponder this.

I’m pretty sure only God has a repent-o-meter. That is only God reads hearts.

So called holy men (actually holier than everybody else in their own eyes, men) who think they can read hearts should read Matthew 7:1-6:

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.

Thanks for the life lesson. I pray that I don’t ever fall into the snare that landed you – thinking I could read other people’s hearts.

Like I said before, you guys are way off the charts on judgment and severely lacking in compassion. Take a lesson from the Dali Lama of all people, who said, “Compassion is the radicalism of our time.” If you want to be radical – like City on a Hill radical – learn to become more compassionate – watch my wife!

Condemnation, judgment, harden hearts are all darkness. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

You guys need to come into the light and not take yourselves so seriously. Seriously!

Tragedy of the hardened heart

I feel sorry for anyone who had a hardened heart.

Forgiveness is a gift from God. He sure modeled it best.

Why is it so hard for some of us to forgive?

I may not match your model of repentance – that’s OK you don’t match my model of love!

Pharaoh is the one I think of when I hear about hardened hearts. How sad to be the poster boy for a hardened heart for all times!

So Moses came to see the big guy to set his people free but the bible says God hardened Pharaoh’s heart.

So maybe Pharaoh would have let God’s hommes go?

So the story in Exodus goes, God did it so he could show His power.

So is God hardening the hearts of the Toad and his gang so He can show us His power?

So he can be glorified?

Because He has a special plan for us, the beneficiaries of the harden hearts?

The answer is more than I can figure out. I just pray that my heart will never be so hardened by me or God that I can’s show love, mercy, compassion or forgiveness.

That is the worst kind of heart attack.

The case of the missing hearts…

Sounds like a jolly good mystery for sure Holmes, said Dr. Watson with a puff of smoke from a fresh pipe curling round his head.

Elementary, my dear Watson…it all started when me and the Mrs. showed up for a reconciliation meeting.

All the right people were there – Toad and three of his boys.

We hugged.

We prayed.

We all said the right things one is supposed to say at reconciliation meetings.

We all said we wanted reconciliation and restoration – the real R & R!

We could have put off Round One til another day but we were on a roll so we jumped right in.

We revisited the original sins.

Guilty as charged!

We discussed the process…or lack of Due Process.

I saw more bobbing of heads then the parking lot of an AARP meeting.

Then the proverbial stuff hit the proverbial fan!

Apparently our favorite girl’s repentance didn’t score high enough on the gangs repent-o-meters to earn forgiveness.

What!!!

Let’s see if something was missing.

We had CONFESSION!

We had TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR SINS!

We had FORMAL APOLOGY!

We had lots of TEARS!

Even CRYING OUT TO GOD!

Sorry – no cigar.

Your repentance did not register high enough to warrant our forgiveness!

So Watson, what do you perceive as the reason for the black smoke up the Vatican chimney so to speak?

Sounds like the absence of a heart to me, governor.

Precisely Watson! Their hearts have been replaced with repent-o-meters! And without a heart they can never offer forgiveness!

Jolly good! Case closed!

P.S. I hears the same verdict was handed down in April following a meeting at which I could not attend. Six months later I was an eyewitness.  If I didn’t see repentance then I don’t know repentance. Either I am just as insane as she is…and that could be true and a good thing or those men have had a heart-ectomy. You decide, dear reader.

P.P.S H. L. Mencken got it right when he said, “If you want peace, work for justice.” amen